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from me, to you: a motivational message

If there’s one thing I can say that can be addressed towards everyone, it’s this.

You are capable of overcoming your fears and your chains. What you battle has nothing on you compared to the person you’ll transform into once you’ve overcome those chains. You were born to battle the things you battle because God knows you can overcome it. Nothing on this Earth will ultimately help you get better. No drug, no relationship, no fictional TV character, nothing. Everything on this Earth is temporary. The first step is believing in your own strength, even if you feel like it’s not there. Often we depend on earthly things to help cope with our struggles because we believe that it truly does help. We continue to say that, and we still wake up and feel weighed down, and we go back to these earthly things, and we numb ourselves with that, and repeat. That’s the art of living in the 21st century.

I often doubt my own strength. But when I see the person that I’ve become BECAUSE I no longer believed the lies told to me, the lies that I would never recover, I would always be depressed, anxious, I wasn’t worthy to walk amongst everyone else. I’ve hit rock bottom multiple times. Completely given up. Relapsed, gave myself to earthly things, I let everyone and everything consume every inch of me because there was nothing left I could give to the world so eager for me to end it all. But the promises God has given to me, which has always been that I would be given happiness, HAS ALWAYS BEEN FULFILLED TO ITS FULLEST. HE HAS NEVER GIVEN ME ANYTHING LESS THAN THAT. He has never given me anything to battle that he knew I couldn’t beat. In those times, I can completely lean on him to guide me. His confidence in me alone is my driving force. I trust in his confidence in me to overcome my daily battles.

Whether you believe in God or not, you will always be promised joy in your life. No matter how long it takes, how it happens. Always believe that you can do anything you put your mind to. And if that’s defeating anxiety, depression, doubts, etc., YOU WILL CONQUER! You are better than the things you do to temporarily numb your (also temporary) pain. If you can’t trust yourself just a little bit that you can get better, just a faint bit of hope, you never will. It’s one of those things you have to really slap yourself in the face for to really grasp it. Please please please don’t let this world tell you that you are not good enough, that you are not strong enough. Don’t let it break your beautiful heart. Have faith that everything I’m saying is true. That you will never be alone. And if you feel that you are now, you’re not. Don’t ever tell yourself that bullcrap. Never ever never.

Stand up, my love. Chin up. Faith. Confidence. Trust. Self-love. HOPE.

 

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breaking free

Chains. When I used to hear about God breaking chains in people, I never really understood it. I got the concept of it, but its just never been clear to me. Mostly because I can’t really think of chains that NEED to be broken within me. Not until today, at least.

The past few months I’ve been living with a lot of guilt and regret. The decisions I made in my life soon caught up to me and have been attacking me nonstop. I live in a constant daydream where I believe that “so-and-so” will talk to me, “so-and-so” and I will work things out, I will be able to move on, etc. I honestly even find myself saying “omg relationship goals” in shows that I’ve been watching recently. I find myself feeling responsible to make people happy when I am already struggling to be happy as it is. I’ve set a lot of burdens on myself, and in result, I feel more negative about who I am because 1. I’ve hurt quite a lot of people. 2. I am a big “crybaby”. Its something I wish I could escape, but I seem to be stuck.
I’ve been praying nonstop about answers. Solutions. Some sort of stepping stone so I can actually fall asleep at night. Some sort of stepping stone so I can stop chasing after “so-and-so” with my eyes. Some sort of stepping stone so I can stop feeling so triggered by everything I watch/see. But I finally realized something tonight. I realized that its not my fault that some people may not like me. I realized that “so-and-so” may never want to even look at me again. I realized that no matter how much I daydream (which is quite a lot), I can’t change what has happened. Its not my fault that people won’t forgive me for things I’ve done against them.

I need to accept that my life isn’t a fairytale, and not everything I want to happen will happen. I can picture all the perfect scenarios in the world, but none would ever come true. They’re just mirages, really. Most importantly, I need to be accepting of who I am. I can be goofy, I also can be emotional. I need to be accepting of both because if everyone else can, I can too. After all, I’ve been made perfectly. I need to trust God and what he has prepared for me. I need to trust him that the man of my dreams is out there, and joy can be found. There is hope out there for me, even if I can’t see it right now.

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